After a few years into our fertility journey, we received the best news… we were pregnant! Seeing our first positive pregnancy test on Christmas Day 2022 was simply the best day of our lives. We knew we had a long way to go, but we were overjoyed with knowing we finally created our miracle… due September 6, 2023.
The first time we saw her little heart beating, we both cried and instantly fell in love. Pregnancy was normal until 22 weeks gestation. During a routine sonogram, we received the news that our miracle had a hole in her heart. After multiple appointments with renowned specialists, we were told our miracle was going to live a long beautiful life. There was a two week period of uncertainty that was dark, but we were prepared and ready to take on the world with our baby girl.
Since her heart diagnosis at 22 weeks, we had weekly appointments with both our Midwives and MFM’s. We were always nervous going into our appointments, but everything always went well. As weeks went on, our miracle was growing perfect and induction was scheduled for Wednesday, September 6, 2023. We were fortunate to be able to see our miracle weekly and watch her grow and get ready to make her way into our lives.
Our last weekly appointment was Friday, August 25, 2023… another perfect visit and sonogram! We knew labor could happen at any moment and we were so ready. Six days after our last perfect sonogram, at 39 weeks and 1 day pregnant, we called our Midwives to tell them the baby’s movement didn’t seem normal. We were told to drink a cold sugary drink, lay on my side, all the things… still nothing. We headed to L&D Triage very naïve thinking we were over-reacting since we just had a perfect sonogram six days prior and were excited that it might be the day we meet our miracle. Once they put the doppler on to try and find the heartbeat and looking at the nurses face, we knew something was wrong. Our lives forever changed on Thursday, August 31, 2023 when they uttered the words “we cannot find a heartbeat”. The hours leading up to delivery were filled with so many emotions and making decisions no parent should have to make. Nobody told us this could happen… What happened? Why us? How? It was an outer body experience.
Our miracle, Violet Peterman, was born on Friday, September 1, 2023 at 10:21 a.m. What was supposed to be the greatest day our lives turned into the darkest. It was confirmed that Violet had a double nuchal cord accident. Looking back, we thought her heart diagnosis was going to be the biggest feat we would have to face. We had no knowledge of stillbirths and/or cord accidents. We were confused, angry, heartbroken and shattered. When Violet arrived, the room was filled with silence and tears. A moment we will never forget for the rest of our lives.
We left the hospital without our baby, something no parent should have to do. We felt so alone in this new uncharted territory as bereaved parents. Our lives were forever changed.
Since Violet’s passing, we are continuously learning and advocating and won’t stop until we are heard. Violet may not physically be here, but she is making a difference. We are working with our local hospital to provide better support for loss parents and starting “The Violet Project”, which will provide teddy bears for loss parents to not go home alone.
We are digging ourselves out of the trenches, but we now know how important it is to tell Violet’s story and continue to say her name.
Life going on without Violet seems like an impossible task, but we will forever live in honor.
Violet is forever our miracle.