Zoey ViLois Becker

On September 15, 2022 I lost my baby girl Zoey. I was 17 weeks and 5 days gestational.

I had just had an ultrasound at 14 weeks and she was healthy and her heart beat was perfect. They told me after I had delivered her that she had stopped growing around 15-16 weeks gestational.

This day will never be the same for me. I had been spotting light brown discharge for 2 days prior but was only apparent when wiping, which I was told by my doctor that it was normal and can happen while 17 weeks pregnant. Later that day I was getting uncomfortable, I started to have some mild cramping… Thinking it was ligament pain as it had taken me 6 years to become pregnant again after my first pregnancy. So, I pushed through it.

Later that day, the cramping was getting a little more intense but I didn’t think it could be contractions.I got in the shower and figured the warm water would help. I had a huge contraction and then my water broke. I got out of the shower as fast as I could. All I could do was cry.

I began trying to call my friends and family that were near by to get someone to drive me to the hospital as I was home alone with my 6 year old daughter. I was losing amniotic fluid out like crazy, going through multiple pants.

I got to the laundry room down stairs, grabbed a wash cloth to try drying up my legs. That is when I delivered her in my hand in the laundry room. I called 911, I couldn’t tell if it was truly her in my hand, Lillian had to tell EMS that I had just had her baby sister.

They arrived and cut the umbilical cord, I held her while they sat with me during contractions (pushing out blood),until Kevin got home. We rushed to the hospital (45 mins away). I got up to L&D, not even being there for 2 mins, I started gushing blood down my legs. They got me to a room, floor covered in blood, my whole lower half covered in blood.

They had me laying down on the bed with a large bag under me, catching blood as it kept coming. They were constantly measuring my blood loss. They gave me medication to help with the pain.

Kevin held Zoey this whole time, watching as I was falling apart. I was given pills to try and release my placenta as it had been almost 3 hours since I had delivered and my body still hadn’t delivered my placenta. The doctors and nurses left the room for a bit to start prepping OR to do a DNC on my placenta due to it not delivering and they were afraid of infection.

Right before going down to OR, I released a huge blood clot, it was around the same size as my placenta but just a clot. I went down to OR, had the DNC, came back up stairs to my room (don’t remember much of that).

Had Kevin grab Zoey for me, and I slept with her on my chest for hours. I woke up sweating/burning up, they kept checking my vitals and took 15 tubes of blood from me. Finally took out my IV for fluids, they just monitored me a few more times throughout the day.

We did a blessing (baptism) ceremony for Zoey, had a little bit of time to say our final goodbyes as we handed her off to the funeral home for them to take her to be cremated.

This day still haunts me and I am still trying to push through everything that happened. It will be 4 years on September 15th and it still feels like yesterday. My little angel up in heaven was too beautiful for earth and only God knows why he called her home. I just know I will have the most precious gift waiting for me when it is my time.