Vincent (Vinnie) Lawrence Cumberland

Although not planned, finding out about Vincent (“Vinnie”) was and will always be the best surprise of our lives. Once the initial tears and shock wore off, we immediately assumed our roles as mom and dad. Every appointment and ultrasound was filled with worries and stress but above all, excitement. There is truly nothing like feeling and seeing your baby move, hearing their heartbeat and watching them grow. The early morning of Thursday, July 16th, I woke up to my water breaking. This was again, quite the shock because Vincent’s due date wasn’t until August 10th. This made me 36 weeks and 3 days. My mind immediately started spinning, as I was anxious about his growth and development at this point. After packing our things and stopping for food on the way, we headed to the hospital. We got checked in and they started monitoring me. Despite Vincent being in the perfect birthing position the Monday before, he had done a total flip and was now breech. We opted for a c-section, as that was the safest delivery for both him and I. It was scary to hear but I felt oddly at peace about it and was just looking forward to meeting my baby. Everything (for the most part) went according to plan. Regardless of how tired or in pain I was, I could not wipe the smile off of my face or how full my heart felt. Defying the odds, Vincent passed all of his tests with flying colors, he was a good size, and was what I assumed to be perfectly healthy. I spent my 22nd birthday (July 19th) in the hospital with the best present ever. My baby. After spending 2 months at home with Vincent (“Vinnie”), I had finally gone back to work. It was physically painful for me to be away from him and the only thing getting me through each day was the fact that I would be able to go home and see him again. On the morning of Friday, September 18th, I received the worst phone call of my life. I will never forget it. My boyfriend was urgently calling me to tell me that he was in the process of feeding Vincent, when he had stopped breathing and responding. He did CPR and all he could do until the paramedics were able to make it to our apartment. I, of course, left work immediately and drove to the hospital to meet them there. Somebody picked me up and I swear, I jumped out of the car before it stopped moving. Once I had arrived, they brought me back to see Vincent (“Vinnie”). In my mind, they had been able to bring him back and save him. I was holding out hope. Instead, I was met with a doctor telling me they had been trying to resuscitate and do CPR for 40 minutes but still nothing. No heartbeat, no breathing. At 9:34am, he was pronounced dead. Our worlds were shattered and our hearts were broken. And still are. Nothing will ever be able to repair that. Navigating this grief and feeling this loss is something no one should have to experience. It is unimaginable, painful, terrible and cruel. However, we will continue to love and honor Vincent. We will say his name. We will share his story. We will share our beloved memories with him. And we will keep living for Vinnie. Something he should’ve been able to do.