In March we were so excited to find out we were pregnant with our first child. The following nine months every appointment and scan went as it should, I had a healthy pregnancy with a strong and active little boy. My husband was so excited we were going to have the son he had been hoping for. We were ready for our baby to come join us any day.
On December 4, 2019 we woke up like any other day, but I was feeling a bit concerned because our baby boy was not his active self. We called the doctor and they had me monitor his movement for 2 hours. It was low. My husband and I headed to the clinic to have our little boys heart rate and movement monitored. They were having a hard time getting the machine to record consistently so they sent us to the hospital to get an ultra sound and make sure everything was ok. As we drove to the hospital we felt calm and no one knew what was about to come.
At 39 weeks and 3 days, on December 4, 2019, we experienced the worst day of our lives.
When the doctor turned to us and told us our baby had no heartbeat and the nurses held our hands and supported us as we moved to the delivery room, the only thing we could feel were tears running down our cheeks and the numbness of receiving such devastating news. Seven hours later, after labor was induced, our guardian angel was born. We, along with our amazingly supportive family, held our angel and cried together.
Now that we have started to move forward, we know our beautiful angel Richard Carlisle is watching over us and has seen his parents become better, stronger people because of him. We go through each day knowing our hearts beat for his and try to be better people because of it. Without taking a single breath he taught us a lot about ourselves and how strong we are together. He opened our hearts to so much more love and appreciation than we knew we could give.
We are so grateful for the support of our family and friends as we have all tried to navigate this path none of us intended to walk down. We also want to thank the amazing doctors and nurses that have been with us through this. Our nurse Jenny was the strength we needed to get through the day of labor and delivery knowing we would not be able to bring our baby home. The doctors, both at the hospital and clinic, have been there for us to lean on as we try to understand. Without the amazing family, friends and staff members we would be completely lost.
He IS our little angel, and that is why he adorns our Christmas tree this year – right on top – where the angel belongs. I’m glad you feel his presence too.
I am so sorry to hear about this. Prayers for comfort and peace.