She Was Here. (My Story of Pregnancy Loss)
– Brianna Sistrunk(Mrs. Alabama America 2025)
In 2015, I lost my daughter Madison Reign Sistrunk, at 19 weeks gestation, just one day shy, of the 20 week mark. She had arms, legs, 10 fingers and 10 toes. My angel was perfect, she was just born, too early.
My entire pregnancy, leading up to her birthday and death, I had experienced unexplained bleeding, that would eventually make it that much easier, for infection to enter my cervix and affect my placenta.
I remember thinking about names, for my girl, alongside my husband. Her name never felt right, until that moment she was born. And then, I found out later, that her name means gift of God. That’s exactly what she was and is, a gift. A gift and a blessing, to my world, though she was only in it, for a moment but she has and will continue to impact me, for a lifetime.
I went into labor, on May 15th 2015. The entire day and day before, I had been having severe back pain, leading me to believe it was just “constipation”. Pain that, in the moment, seemed so trivial that turned out to be life changing. The pain progressively got worse and my husband suggested I call my doctor. It was after hours, so the on call nurse listened to my symptoms and gave me an “over the phone” diagnosis, of a kidney infection and called me in, antibiotics.
As my husband left to pick up the medication, the pain progressively worsened and I began to feel nauseated and sick. Thinking that a shower would help me feel better, I got up to take one and as I could barely walk into my bathroom, I felt and saw gushes of water, begin to pour out of me. I knew. I knew that wasn’t right and I knew something was wrong.
From that moment in time, onward, everything went downhill. One moment I was okay, pregnant, bleeding but pregnant. The next I was being told I was in labor and that I would have to deliver my daughter, the following morning.
I don’t think I fully processed those words. Through the night, things didn’t feel or seem real but when morning came, my life forever changed.
I had to give birth to her, on May 16th 2015, just like I would have a few months, down the line. 40 weeks, full term, except I wasn’t full term. I was one day shy of 20 weeks pregnant, only halfway through my pregnancy.
My husband tells me that he saw her take a breath, when she was born. I know even in that small break in time, God was protecting me. I know that, had I known or seen what he did. It would’ve completely destroyed me. The amount of pain and grief, I felt after giving birth to her is something unexplainable. A grief you wish for no one and you only understand, if you have been through it.
I will forever be grateful, to the nurses at Madison Hospital, in Madison, Alabama that took care of me. They wrapped my baby girl in a pink blanket, took pictures of her, and put a pink bow on her head. They allowed me to hold her and keep her in my room, just like I would have, a few months down the road.
I went through a period of deep grief, agony and heartbreak. There were days, where all that I could do was cry and sleep. Other days I would shower and “be normal” and others, where I couldn’t get out of bed. I was angry with God and I felt helpless. But one day I felt enough strength, to open my Bible again. That day changed my life. The scripture it fell on, has now become my favorite and one I’ve leaned on, in the midst of storms, in my life just like I did back then.
“He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the mire. He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along.” -Psalms 40:2 NLT. I began to find my strength, healing and peace through my Jesus. I wept but I let Him hold my heart, while I did it. I felt pain but I let Him, uphold me. I know that I wouldn’t have made it through, had it not been for Jesus.
Fast forward to today. Summer of 2025. I believe God has anointed me and equipped me, by his mighty power, to be a source of hope for women, who have had or are currently experiencing what I did. I hope to be someone, other women can lean on and find comfort and support in, to know that they’re not alone.
In 2015, I lost my daughter, Madison Reign Sistrunk and in 2025, I advocate for her and live for her, by upholding her memory and prayerfully helping others. Because though she was only here for a moment, her presence and short memory will impact me, for a lifetime.
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