Aymira Espinal

My name is Casandra, and this is the story of my first baby girl.

When I found out I was pregnant, my heart was filled with excitement. I dreamed about holding my daughter, watching my sons become big brothers, and imagining the beautiful life we would share. She was already deeply loved from the very beginning.

At 18 weeks pregnant, my world changed forever. I learned that my cervix had opened too early, and my baby girl’s tiny feet had slipped through. There was very little amniotic fluid left, and the doctors told me there was nothing they could do to save her.

Hearing those words was the most heartbreaking moment of my life. No parent is ever prepared to hear that their baby cannot be saved. I delivered my daughter far too soon.

Although I only held her for a short time, she will always be my child. She made me a mother to a daughter, and that is something no one can ever take away from me. The grief that follows pregnancy loss is difficult to explain. You leave the hospital with empty arms but a heart that is forever changed. People may not see your baby, but you carry her with you every single day.

I think about who she would have become, what her smile would have looked like, and the memories we never had the chance to make. Her birth flower is the lily. To me, lilies represent her purity, her beauty, and the love that will never fade. Whenever I see a lily, I think of my daughter and the brief but precious time she was with me.

To my sweet baby girl: You were wanted. You were loved before I ever held you, and you will be loved for the rest of my life. You changed me forever. Until the day we meet again, I will carry you in my heart. You will always be my daughter, my first baby girl, my beautiful angel.