Where To Begin When Your Baby Has Died

Some tips from families who have experienced similar losses

• Take your time.  It’s ok to ask questions, think about decisions, and talk to other loved ones.  

• Write your questions down so they are easier to remember when your health provider is with you.

• If you haven’t delivered your baby yet, talk to a nurse or health professional about creating a birth plan.   The Star Legacy Foundation Family Support Coordinator is available to help if needed. 

• Spend time with your baby.  Most families cherish these moments with their baby.  Consider giving him/her a bath, reading stories, taking handprints/footprints, etc.  

• Take pictures.  Even families who initially did not want photos are glad they have them later.  You don’t have to look at them until you want to.  Professional photographers may be available, or you can also take candid photos of your time with your baby.  

• Observe family traditions.  If your family has rituals connected to births and deaths, feel free to incorporate them as much as you’d like.  

• Create keepsakes.  Ask your hospital for items like ultrasound pictures, the baby’s blanket, bassinet card, a lock of baby’s hair, make multiple copies of your babies hand and footprints, etc. 

• Be kind to yourself.  There are no right or wrong answers.  Feel free to ask questions and make decisions that feel right to you in this moment. 

• Give yourself permission to grieve in a way that is best for you and your family.  

• Ask for help.  It can be hard to know how others can help, but there are many who are willing to provide support and guidance.  You may also have friends or family who are willing to help with tasks like caring for other children or preparing meals.