For those of you that don’t know me personally, my name is Kelly Ashton. My fiancé Aaron Rock and I are trying to put together the funds to not only bring home the ashes of our beautiful babies, but give them all the honor they deserve. About two weeks ago we both got all the dreaded symptoms of Covid. It was awful. Fever, headaches, exhaustion, and just down right miserable. It was last Tuesday that I turned to Aaron and said “I haven’t really felt the babies moving as much”, because they were always extremely active. We both just assumed they weren’t feeling that great just like we weren’t and well we were starting to feel better so they should too, right?!
I would give anything to go back and listen to my gut. I should have gone to the ER when the kicks stopped. It was Friday morning and I told Aaron I was having contractions every 5 minutes but I wanted to make sure they weren’t “false labor” contractions. Within an hour they were 2 minutes apart and very strong. I looked at him and said “ITS TIME! Call 911, I need to get to the hospital NOW!”
The ambulance showed up and barely got me to the hospital. They did an ultrasound to see how the babies were positioned… River (our girl) was breach with no heartbeat. They looked at me and said “You need to push this baby out NOW!” I was terrified. I had just turned 32 weeks that morning! I wasn’t supposed to have a C-section until early November… and now I was having to push them out breach with no medication. When I saw the urgency in their faces I pushed as hard as I could. I’d do anything to save these babies.
River came out, no cries. Then came Aksel (our boy)… again silence. Aaron hadn’t even made it to the hospital yet. When he walked in they told us “The babies didn’t make it”.
What?! How?! Why?! All these thoughts racing through my head with tears running down our faces. Was Aaron going to hate me for not acting when I felt something was off? Why would God do this? How am I going to move forward?
I FELT/FEEL SO EMPTY. “We can cremate the babies here at the hospital, but you wouldn’t be able to get their remains,because they will be put with all the other bodies left with us.” this was what was actually said to me by a nurse just hours after having to deliver my two babies that had passed away because I caught covid at 31 weeks pregnant. It hadn’t even hit me that they were gone, and there I was faced with the awful reality that we needed to figure out how we were going to keep this from happening. We didn’t know how, but we would not let our Angels be treated like they never existed. No baby, or human for that matter, should ever suffer that fate. Never did It even cross my mind that we would be planning a funeral this week for our precious twins instead of bringing them home. This pregnancy was not easy. For anyone that has carried multiples, can tell you it is A LOT on a woman’s body and mind. We didn’t know exactly how we were going to afford two newborn babies, but we knew we would do whatever it took to give them the best possible life we could. They may not have had the best of everything, name brand clothes, etc. In fact they would probably have hand me downs with almost everything, but they would have SO MUCH love from myself and Aaron.
After meeting with the funeral home yesterday, any kind of help to give our Angels the honor and dignity they deserve is so greatly appreciated… along with continued prayers and support.
It’s in this time of grief I realize how much love and support we really do have and it means the world to us! Thank you!