In 2017, I found out I was pregnant on the 4th of July. I always wanted to be a mom but I was met with mixed emotions when I saw the positive pregnancy test. I was shocked, scared, and anxious. I wondered if I would be a good mom and if I was ready. Many of my worries subsided the first time I saw her on the monitor. She was so small she reminded me of a jelly bean and from that, point on she would be our “Jelly Bean”. My OBGYN said our due date was March 15, 2018. My pregnancy was normal after that. I went to the OBGYN appointments as scheduled. I also went to Maternal Fetal Medicine (MFM) for my scans. One day, after I got out the shower and dried off, I noticed water had started to trickle down, and then a whole gush of water came out. I called my OBGYN and he met us at Labor and Delivery. I was given two options, to terminate (as without the amniotic fluid her lungs would not develop) or continue with the pregnancy. We decided to continue and we were counseled on the risk. A week later, my temperature began to rise, and I started having contractions. I was told I would need to be induced as the pregnancy had become septic and life threatening. Jelly Bean came to us at 19.1 weeks on October 18, 2018. And my gut instinct was right, she was a girl. It was one of the hardest, most traumatic experiences in my life thus far. At my post-opt appointment, my OBGYN wanted me to have preconception counseling at Maternal Fetal Medicine (MFM) to make a plan for my next pregnancy.
In 2018, exactly nine months after we lost Jelly Bean, I had a dream I was with her, and I was trying to put her in something to keep her safe. She said, “No, do not worry, I will be back,” and then she disappeared in the dream. I took a pregnancy test that day and lo and behold, I was pregnant again. Panic set in almost immediately. I called my doctor and I demanded to be seen sooner than later due to my history. I went in and had my scan. As my scan did not match my last menstrual cycle, one of the OBGYN in the practice was not quite convinced I was pregnant. Then the head OBGYN of the practice came in and rescanned me and it was determined that I was about 5 weeks with a new due date of March 22, 2019. My OBGYN and MFM specialist had already decided, prior to me getting pregnant, that I would be monitored closely next time. I went in weekly for scans and checked in with my OBGYN on a monthly basis. We started cervical lengths at 15 weeks to check for cervical changes. At my 14 weeks scan, I asked technician if it was too soon to find out if she was a girl and, lo and behold, she was. At my 18 weeks scan, we noticed my cervix began to shorten. I was scheduled for emergency transvaginal cerclage (TVC). I thought we were in the clear, but at 22 weeks, my water broke again. This time, I was able to maintain my pregnancy in the antepartum unit. At 23 weeks, I went into labor and Valentina Marie was born on November 15, 2018. She lived for over an hour before she went to be with her sister.
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