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Recommended Reading

Couple Communication After A Baby Dies by Sherokee Ilse and David Nelson

Bereaved Parents often don’t communicate their feelings and needs well, leading to confusion, assumptions, mistrust, and often tension. However, through thoughtful communication, improved understanding, and openness, relationships can be significantly improved. This new small book offers a unique approach to a difficult but important subject. Ilse and Nelson teamed up to offer not only their individual perspectives as a woman and man following the deaths of their children, but also to share how they and their spouses met the challenges couples face. Good background information is offered on topics such as brain differences, personality and childhood influences, myths, and more. Other couples weigh in and thought provoking questions are added to the back for personal use or for book discussion, support groups, or during counseling sessions.

Available from Wintergreen Press.  $12.95

Empty Arms by Sherokee Ilse

Empty Arms is a unique and encouraging book that reaches out to all who have been touched by infant death or miscarriage. It is the first written material newly bereaved parents should turn to when they learn their baby has died. With compassion and sensitivity, the author, who has been there herself, offers practical suggestions and support for the decision-making at the time of the loss and in the days and months that follow. Contains an excellent bibliography and resource section.

Available in English and Spanish from Wintergreen Press.  $12.95



Grieving Dads: To the Brink and Back by Kelly Farley

A collection of candid stories from grieving dads that were interviewed over a two year period. The book offers insight from fellow members of, in the haunting words of one dad, “this terrible, terrible club,” which consists of men who have experienced the death of a child. This book is a collection of survival stories by men who have survived the worst possible loss and lived to tell the tale. They are real stories that pull no punches and are told with brutal honesty. Men that have shared their deepest and darkest moments. Moments that included thoughts of suicide, self-medication and homelessness. Some of these men have found their way back from the brink while others are still standing there, stuck in their pain. The core message of Grieving Dads is “you’re not alone.”

Available from Amazon – $15.95


When hello means goodbyeWhen Hello Means Goodbye: A Guide for Parents Whose Child Dies Before Birth, At Birth, Or Shortly After Birth.  By Pat Schwiebert and Paul Kirk. 

A guide for parents whose child dies before birth, at birth or shortly after birth. This sensitive booklet is a help to families during the early days of their grief. It helps answer questions and prepare parents for the days ahead. It can be given to parents at the first acknowledgment of their baby s death to help them best use the short time they ll have with their little one. Among topics covered are: collecting keepsakes; ways to celebrate the birth and death of a baby; reasons for seeing, holding and naming a dead baby; emotions common to bereaved parents; information about autopsies; where to find help; and the unique situations of fathers, siblings, and grandparents. Contains beautiful poetry.

Available from Amazon – $5.95



My baby big sister


My Baby Big Sister: A Book for Children Born Subsequent to a Pregnancy Loss.  By Cathy Blanford.

This is a book that was written for children who were born subsequent to a perinatal loss. This book will help with the confusion these children often experience when they learn about this important event that happened before they were even born.

Available from Amazon – $18.95





We were going to have a baby but had an angel insteadWe were going to have a baby, but we had an angel instead.  By Pat Schwiebert

An excellent book for families to read with children who also experience the loss of a baby.  Written in developmentally appropriate language.

Available from Amazon – $8.95



Grandparents Cry TwiceGrandparents Cry Twice.  By Mary Lou Reed

“Grandparents Cry Twice: Help for Bereaved Grandparents” is a book about grandparents’ dual sorrow when a grandchild dies. They cry for their lost grandchild and they also cry for the terrible grief they see their own child having to bear. The author, Mary Lou Reed, writes of her experiences when her beloved grandson, Alex, died. Through her personal story she touches the universal in all grandparents’ grief.

Available from Amazon – $47.95





Pregnancy After LossPregnancy after a Loss: A Guide to Pregnancy after a Miscarriage, Stillbirth, or Infant Death.  By Carol Cirulli Lanham

For a woman who has experienced a miscarriage, stillbirth, or the death of an infant, conceiving another child can be fraught with mixed emotions. This guide, filled with up-to-date medical information and written by a woman who herself experienced a successful pregnancy after the loss of her first baby, can help women cope with their anxiety. It offers guidance for women asking such questions as:

  • Why did it happen—and how can I make sure it doesn’t happen again?
  • Will my next pregnancy be considered high-risk?
  • How long should I wait before getting pregnant again?
  • What can I expect at prenatal exams?
  • Will I ever be able to love another baby as much as I love the one I lost?

Pregnancy after a loss can be a time of great emotional upheaval—but also, a time of healing and hope. With this sensible, sensitive guide, women can put their minds at ease—and learn to look forward to the future as they make peace with the past.

Available from Amazon – $13.82

When Pregnancy Follows Loss

When Pregnancy Follows A Loss: Preparing for the Birth of Your New Baby.  By Joann O’Leary and Clare Thorwick

The loss of a baby during pregnancy or in the newborn period is the most devastating event parents can undergo.  Our children are not supposed to die before us.  Few people understand the conflicting emotions that surface during a subsequent pregnancy nor that these feelings are normal, given your life experience.  Embracing the life of a new baby can be daunting when others may not understand you are still a parent to the baby who died.  But that baby is part of your family forever.  While each family has their own story there are also many commonalities.  This booklet is a compilation of families’ experiences.  It is the hope that the voices of other parents will help you find a new way of being and coping.

Available from Star Legacy Foundation – $5.00





Don't take my grief away from meDon’t Take My Grief Away From Me.  By Doug Manning.

Nobody addresses the needs of a grieving person like Doug. His warm, conversational style takes the reader through all the emotions and experiences that accompany the death of a loved one.

Available from Amazon – $10.40








Pregnancy After Loss-warlandPregnancy After A Loss by Jane Warland


















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